I AM SO DRUNK!! I am like two thirds of the way through Ark the Lad but that's like, only 3:15 in haha. I'm on like level 24. Arc the Lad is the sort of game where when you kill an enemy and DON'T get a level up you're like HEY BITCH WHO STOLE MY LEVEL UP. Ferris calls it an "action Strategy RPG" and that's a pretty impromptu descriptory of it. Despite the so called "Strategy" of the game it's mostly, attack attack attack heal. Just like every other motherfucking RPG of the past I dunno 20 years!! Or ten at least.
Where have I seen this before?
Arc the Lad is like, replaying your favorite 16-bit RPG you never played. Maybe like fourth or fifth favorite. It's really well animated but it's still like world of parallax sprites. It's okay but it launched with the PSX in Japan in like 1995 back when I was a sophomore year in HS and yet to ever date a female just to give you an idea of how TERRIFYINGLY long ago it came out! Though it's not like I'm dating anyone nowadays either. Working Designs has made it part of their Arc the Lad Collection aka Excuse to Actually Release Arc the Lad I and II. Cause it's short. So fucking short.
The hero is Arc the Lad or as I like to call him, Arc the Rad. Cause he's so rad! Jesus christ!! He gets the power from the old man of the mountain and kills things. The bad guys are too stupidly obviously evil. The game is oddly misogynist. Other characters include Kukuru living in the old oak tree and Paco Bell the high school band major reject and Battle Arena Tosh (inden) and this dumb merchant who is racistly translated and summons faggy monsters. And this old guy who casts magic but sucks. Tosh and Arc do like 90% of the fighting so they're on like level infinity - 1 while everyone else is on level -3. However once WD rebalances it everyone will be on level -3.
You may be wondering why I've called you here today
The game is very liniear, you attack and enemies attack you. You can use items but like, WHAT THE FUCK. There's no stores or even money so it's like just stuff you randomly get in battle. Meanwhlie I'd like to heal. Dear game designers: please fix this fucking stupidness in Arc the Lad II+III. Dear Andrew: we did, love game desingers. MAGIC OF COLLECTION ALL AT ONCE. Though Casino sucks. But Vic sucks too so it's like, two great tastes that taste great together! Arc the Lad is not a Jehovah's Witness though. But items are mostly dumb cause it's just what random chance gets you in battle. But really in super conclusion like ... the battle system is really easy!! Autohealing after battles! Level ups like they're going out of style! I LIKE SEX!!!!! Hahahahahahha.
It has a typical WD translation where people are like "Oh forsooth I will endeavor to vanquish the antagonistic forces of my liege's most noble opponent" instead of "DIE BITCH" which is what I yell a lot of the time!! But since the save data is like compatible from game to game you will be okay with that. The voices are still in Japanese and it has yet to be "rebalanced" or do I mean UNBALANCED by WOrking DelAYS OHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh1. If you're nice to me I'll give you a burn.
I guess the basic thing is like, as a standalone game, Arc the Lad is kind of stupid, but as a brief introduction to the series and the rest of the collection, it's great! So by the time WD adds stupid English voices and rebalances it to shit, it'll be just average. Arc the Lad: average at best. And you can quote me on that. Oh graphics are okay but kind of tiley and the music is good but soundeffects are just okay.
1. I stole this from my good friend Kevin Fenegi Video Senki Kathie Lee GIFFORD!!!!!
Preview by Andrew Vestal, GIA.